Don't Regret Regret

Don’t Regret Regret (TED Talk)

 Kathryn Schultz

Happier if I had done something differently. IMAGINE what could have been. Think different decision would have led to a better outcome.

Things that we regret:

·       Education - 32

·       Career - 22

·       Romance - 15

·       Parenting – 10

·       Self – 5.5

·       Leisure – 2.5

·       == Not that important ==

o   Finance – 2.5

o   Family – 2.25

o   Health – 1.47

o   Friends – 1.44

o   Spirituality – 1.33

o   Community – 1

Components of Regret

·       Denial – make it go away

·       Bewilderment – how could I have done this?  What was I thinking?

·       Punish ourselves

·       Perseveration – keep focusing on the exact same thing (1..3 repeat)

·       Existential wakeup call – acting out of idiocy – face the reality – there is no Ctrl-Z in real life.

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·       Pain

·       Irrevocable consequences

How to make peace with bad decision:

1.     We’re all in this together

2.     Laugh/humor

3.     Time – time heals all wounds

4.     It’s not as ugly as you think

If we have goals and dreams and want to do our best: don’t hurt others.  We should feel pain when things go wrong.  The point is to not have regrets; the point is:

Don’t hate yourself for feeling regret.  Regrets remind us that we could have done better.