Monday, June 3, 2013

Red Road - Marlin F (Naytahwaush MN)

Missionary Name  <> Indian spirit name

What are you doing? "Nothing".   I thought you did that yesterday:  "I did , but I didn't finish!"

Elder - I just got old;  She's Eskimo= slow walking.

Walking Eagle

Marlin - Wild Rice Roundup - Mahnomen, NM
http://www.wildriceroundup.com/Assets/WWRUwinter2014.png

Black Stone - Whirlwind - Wolf Clan

Sam English - artist

Red Road Crossing - drummers - heartbeat of the people;  bring in God

Born into alcohol
Father was 25- called his mother & she was drinking to = suicide. Marlin was 5.  Funeral - mother screamed.  Uncles - Vetrans - tough.  To marlin - don't cry pussy - be a man ----- next 35 yrs couldn't cry - lump in throat and hold back feelings - no trust in the home/ lots of fear.  No God in the home.   Grandmother - also alcoholic ... Boarding school - very abusive ---- Kneel  on white rice - take the Indian out of you.  

Didn't know how to show love .  Hitting.  Hurt people hurt people.  Violence- chaos-dysfunction.

Vow to never drink. 

Parents would disappear for 3-7 days.

Alcoholic before the 1st drink.  Didn't fit in - different.  "Sugar shack" pay  $2 and  drink --- the magic of alcohol.... Remember the first 3 and not the rest---- but  I changed.  Father grounded me for life!

Normal person wouldn't do it again --- bring $2 and keep coming back ~ AA!  Blackout drinker from the beginning. 

I was nothing in my home.

Elders asked  me to be a helper @ 17 but still sick w alcohol ---- community knew it.

Last good drunk before going to prison - w/ my brother--- stayed drunk for 3 months --- 9/11/2001.  Falling of twin towers... Maybe this is the last day ----- fear for family---emotion....talk w God.  

Help me stop drinking --- I cannot stop on my own.   Capt Morgan and a case bud light ---- and couldn't get drunk ---- take away obsession to drink.

Cuffed.  Jail = Safe fro 90 days.  Treatment center / they cared.   Grief group---- make amends.   Letter to father ---- bashed him for years..... Self pity.   Forgive father - Alcoholic w/o treatment.  Love vs hate ---- missed him --- I needed him and he wasn't present.  

I will never have to drink again. 

Cried for 90 days.

Healing tears - sweet
Self pity tears - salty

Lump in throat vs tears ---- God gave us tears to remove the grief....grief recovery


The Grieving Indian tell the story of Arthur Holmes (Ojibwe)., and the painful lessons he learned as he tried to rebuild his life. This is a powerful, healing book. Every Native American needs to read it for the help and hope it offers. Every person who is not Native American needs to read it for the depth of understanding it will give. A Canadian bestseller.

Unresolved grief--- not ok to cry: not ok to talk about it

Eyes-Windows to the soul
Tears - window washing - cleansing

Got to do both - AA & grief counseling - otherwise revolving door

David e smith

Addiction center adjacent to grief center.  Addiction releases the pain.  Unresolved grief.... Including historical grief/ inherited

The Red Road to Wellbriety: In The Native American Way



12 steps + Native American culture + ceremony

Austin two moons-elder


12 steps =   Harmony --- blueprint for living----the 12 steps are not linear; they're a Circle:

  • Steps (East) 1..3 powerless
  • Steps (South) 4...6 find out who I am
  • Steps 7..9 (West) find your relatives...forgiveness is a spiritual act
  • Steps 10..12 ()North) wisdom


Gods power shown thru love

Your job is to be medicine to others




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